It's been 30 days that I have had to navigate life without you ma. I actually learned a lot during this time
1. God is close to the broken hearted. I spend a lot of time alone and in silence. I find peace and comfort when all the noise is taken away.
2. I have had to accept that God's timing has a purpose. Even though I wasn't ready I have to learn how to adjust, be thankful, praise God, and get to work while on this journey without you physically here. However I feel you near me and I thank God for that.
3. I received more news after you passed. That was another devastating blow I wasn't anticipating but once again I went to the Lord and prayed over myself like you taught me. Now I truly understand the conversations we had about having a peace that surpasses all understanding healing, spiritual warfare, fasting, and praying.
4. I started writing again. Just journaling to help with my grief. Something I loved doing but I stopped because I was too busy. Funny thing is I have started sharing my testimony with strangers these last 30 days and they have all either said "Wow have you thought about writing a book"? Or "You need to write a book because people need to hear what you have been through". I laughed and said yea I know others need to hear it. I'm working on it. No really I am. I just finished the preface, introduction, and most of chapter 1.
5. When I read the Bible now every page is different. I now understand the phrase" the Bible is the only book that while you read it the Bible reads you". That has made my time with the Lord so much more amazing. I'm understanding more and learning more from a different perspective.
6. We as believers do not grieve as those with no hope. It's ok to miss you, cry, and have rough days but I understand now as I'm walking through it what you taught us all these years.
7. I have been traveling to a lot of places where I do not know anyone. I have been talking to them about my testimony and Jesus. I'm finding that I love strangers more now than ever lol. It is becoming more comfortable for me to not know a person.
Lastly I decided to go to this random place and take a picture on the butterfly chair next to the alien I had no idea was right behind me. Anyways he knows the Lord and where his help comes from now so he is good. Yup mom I still have my crazy sense of humor that you love. Love and miss you ma.
Love and miss you ma.Most importantly thank you God for loving me and taking special care of me before mom passed , the past 30 days after she has passed, and every day moving forward.